1,2,3,4 (I Love You)
by LittleMissDarkside
Summary: Jackson has his doubts. He needs to question things in order to get over his feelings. His mate is happy to answer them. (Part of my 750 Words drabble series. Title from the song of the same name by Plain White T's, but this is not a songfic)


Jackson couldn't sleep again. It was one of those nights where he had a lot on his mind. There used to be thoughts about Lydia as always. She loved him dearly, but she couldn't anymore. It was just too much. She had to leave and start a life of her own even if it was without him. All he could do was wave and wish her the best. No one else really came to mind but Lydia. She was the instrumental person that gave him this life. Yeah, he didn't intend to turn into the Kanima, but it happened. That was something that they eventually reversed. Lydia said his Christian name, and the Kanima worked out his issue. What it didn't do, however, was work out how to keep Lydia around.

Tonight, however, there was a change. He sat up in bed and expected to have the feeling of abandonment take him over. Instead, it's replaced with love. Where did that come from?

Jackson looked over to his right. He saw a mass of blankets and an overstuffed pillow. He knew, under all of that material, was a person that he knew cared deeply for him. He moved away the blankets and uncovered skin. It was tan and taunt, warmth seeping from it. It had this distinct scent. It was a scent that Jackson would immediately place, and he would find comfort in it. It smelt like home.  
It smelt like his Alpha.

"Jackson," Derek grumbled. The younger male was taken aback by the sudden voice. He thought that he was being subtle, but then again, subtly was never his strong suit.  
"What?" Jackson responded quietly. The Hale house was filled with werewolves and humans. Scott had taken up a room with Stiles that was just right down the hall. Peter and Isaac weren't too far away either, sleeping just a door over from Jackson and Derek's room. Derek got anxious when he realized that Isaac and Peter dating, and he got downright insane when he figured out that they had mated. He eventually came to terms but still wanted his Uncle and his favorite beta close. He had every right not to trust Peter.

Boyd and Erica, however, never got to stay in the room they set up for them. They were left on the porch by the Alpha Pack. Their bodies were pale and caked with blood. They stunk of wolfsbane, and Derek was visibly upset by the fact that he couldn't touch them. He wanted to move them inside, so they wouldn't be alone anymore. They had their pack again even in death.

Derek growled into his pillow, "Why are you thinking so hard? It's really late; you need to sleep." He had placed his hand on Jackson's bare knee. He gave it a squeeze and tried to calm his mate down. Jackson would have these deep moments of thought at night. He had been through a lot, and he deserved this time. Sometimes, though, Derek had no choice but to worry. He just got the boy back; he couldn't bare to lose him again.

"Everything," Jackson whimpered. "It's just everything. It's about Lydia, then it goes to the pack. My mind settles onto Erica and Boyd and the life they could have had together. Then it's -" Jackson swallowed. This was always the hardest part. He would just shut down on Derek and wouldn't speak. The Alpha would usually wait for him to come out of it, but this was alarming.

"Us," Derek finishes for him. The other man nodded and bit down on his lip. He felt his eyes sting and a tear roll down his cheek. He hadn't cried at night for almost three months. What made this start again now?

Jackson whimpered, "Why did you pick me? You could have had anyone. Scott, Stiles, and Isaac. You could have had them all." Derek sighed and sat up. They had never talked about this, but they knew it was going to happen. Jackson was always insecure. His birth parents not being there, and the way he distanced himself from his adoptive ones were the main reason. Yes, he is a gorgeous man and ridiculously fit, but that was a facade. It was a mirage that he kept up to please everyone. On the inside, he was always the lonely one. He needed Derek's reassurance.

"I didn't want them," Derek answered back. "Scott and Stiles are in love. Whether they had realized it before Allison and Lydia, they were in love. Both of them have been on this ride together. They mated, they're happy. I can't ruin that." Jackson nodded, but still wasn't convinced. Derek could smell the doubt radiating off of him.

The Alpha cleared his throat, "Isaac has my uncle now. I don't like it, but he's happy. Peter has been treating him right and would sit up with him when he has night terrors. He gives the protection that I can't give him. Besides, he's like a son to me. I will never be his father, but I will watch him like a hawk." Jackson snorted and smiled. Derek sometimes knew that making a joke or two can make someone smile. He didn't always make jokes, but when he did, he timed them perfectly. Jackson loved him for that. Derek would always humor the beta.

"Then what made you pick me?" he asked, his voice stronger now. He was still uncomfortable, and his throat was scratchy, but he was stronger.

Derek smiled, "My wolf knew," He could hear the tremble in his own voice. This was emotional for him, too. They never talked about their feelings. They would bottle it up and let it be. "Every time you would walk into the house or the depot, it would howl and try to reach you. I wouldn't let it because I knew that you were trying to deal with everything. You needed time."

Jackson whispered, "Tell me why you finally came after me."

"I saw you cry for the first time," Derek answered as he pulled Jackson into his lap. They both knew what he was talking about. It was after Lydia left. Jackson wandered the forest before returning home. He thought the pack was gone and the house empty before he started to break down. Derek pulled into the yard, and he heard the faint sound of tears hitting the ground. That was the moment he knew that Jackson and his wolf needed him as much as Derek did.

Jackson was in tears now. He knew that Derek loved him, but he didn't know that he would come to him at his most vulnerable. He clung to his mate and kissed his lips softly.  
"One more question, please?"

"Yes, Jackson?"

"Do you love me?" There was hesitation in his voice this time. Derek looked him in the eye and ran his fingers over the mark he left on Jackson. He felt the younger man shiver under the slight touch.

"More than you'll ever now," Derek whispered against his mate's lips. Jackson nodded and kissed him. He was passionate and let his inhibitions go. This was home. This was what he needed. He had his family, his friends, and most of all, the love of his life. He had everything he could ever wish for.

"I love you, too."


End file.
